Sexologist

Educator

Life Coach


Dr.Sayaka


Meet Dr.Sayaka

Sayaka writes...  Caution! It's long :)

Just like you, I am a unique blend of all sorts of talents and qualities.  I was born and raised in Japan, but thanks to my Korean mother’s foresight, I always knew I didn’t belong there.  My laughter was a bit too loud, I was too outspoken, competed with boys, challenged teachers, and I was “ugly” and “fat” for Japanese standards.  As I started traveling around the world and making friends everywhere, I started confirming that we can make our own reality.  I was fascinated by what made everyone so different, and how similar situations do not cause people to feel or behave the same way.  I became very curious about the field of psychology.


After 2 years of majoring in English in Japan, I got the OK from the professors and a scholarship from SONY to transfer to UCSB.  My major?  Psychology, of course.  Universe always has fantastic plans, so I met my first husband within 6 months of being in Santa Barbara.  This older, sophisticated, handsome, successful, multi-lingual, surfing, motorcycle riding Brazilian man swept me off my feet, and we settled in Orange County.  I then transfered to a small private university called Chapman that reminded me of my Japanese private university and completed the Psychology degree with the 3.98 GPA.  


Although I wanted go to a graduate school to become a sex therapist, my then husband and my mother did not like the idea.  My father was supportive, but I decided not to rock the boat.  My second choice was working with children, so I took a job at a Score Educational Center as a director.  I enjoyed teaching students, having conferences with parents, encouraging both the students and the parents, but I hated the sales.  So it was time to go back to school.  I did love tutoring as it allowed me to help the teenagers in many different ways, so I kept a few of very favorite students while I was in the graduate school.


Naturally, I decided that the field of school psychology was a perfect match.  I would be able to be a consultant to the teachers, work with students independently, have great conferences with parents, and no sales what so ever.  I originally majored in Educational Psychology, but decided to change into Special Education so I can spend more time understanding the teachers I would be working with, instead of assuming that school psychologist was better than teachers.  While at school, I worked as a teacher’s assistant in a classroom with children with autism at Orange County Department of Education (OCDE).  Everyone asked why I didn’t take the job as a teacher, but again, I wanted to understand what it was like being an assistant.  


I graduated with the highest honors and the 4.0 GPA, but the schooling wasn’t over for me.  I then completed the school psychology credential program, with another 4.0 GPA and more than 1700 of hours of apprenticeship and internship in different school districts.  After working in many different districts, I was lucky enough to be hired by the only place I loved:  OCDE.  I loved everyone I worked with, both children and adults.  My students were all non-verbal and non-ambulatory for many different reasons.  For me, they were all so beautiful, and I felt that they were all so wise, too.  These students, teachers, and their parents taught me many valuable lessons.


Still, for me, my first husband was the greatest class I had ever taken.  He was everything I had wanted, yet, by being with him, I learned more of what is truly important to me and what is just “fluff”.  Although we still remain as close and trusting friends, we decided that it was time to part as romantic partners.


After divorce, I remembered what I truly wanted was to work in a sexuality field.  I was always the go-to-girl on any sex questions since junior high.  Throughout the years, I coached countless people.  I researched and I decided to go back to school, yet again.  


This time, I decided to take a risk and go to a non-traditional school.  The Institute for Advanced Studies of Human Sexuality is located in San Francisco, and their teaching method was NOT what I was used to.  They only admit very small number of students each trimester, and they expect you to already know the things that one can read in text books.  Most students have many years of experience in the sexuality field already.  If not, one just has to catch up to the speed.  The school’s aim is to confront one’s judgments and insecurities around sexuality, so many classes are experiential and/or taught by people who are representative of what we were learning about.  For example, classes on BDSM was taught by a professional dominatrix, and other by a couple practicing BDSM for a long time.  A class on disabilities and sexuality was taught by someone who was paraplegic.  You get the idea.


When one is in bliss, many more blissful things are bound to happen.  As I was so intrigued by all the classes, I had to meet the most amazing partner: Nick Karras, the famous photographer and the author of Petals (beautiful black/white photo book of vulvas) became my best friend, then a lover, and the most amazing partner for 7 years.  


Taking a leap of faith, I quit my wonderful and secure job as a school psychologist, moved in with Nick in San Diego, and concentrated on school.  After earning the Doctorate in Human Sexuality, the two of us then worked together, coaching and teaching workshops, lecturing in universities internationally, as well as being part of the Orgasm Team at the San Diego Sexual Medicine with world famous Dr. Irwin Goldstein.  We had so much fun together, and we eventually decided to let go of the partnership so we can fly independently.  We continue to nurture our beautiful friendship, and I am so grateful for the years we had together.


While practicing sexology, it became very evident to me that holistic happiness, including health, relational, spiritual, social, financial, and sexual alignment and fulfillment was the deepest desire for most people.  I now practices more expanded coaching on my own, teach educational sexuality workshops, consult and sell high quality bedroom toys.  What I love the most is uplifting others in a friendly, compassionate yet honest and direct way while helping them be more authentically who they are and loving themselves.  I love teaching the “uncomfortable” subjects such as sexuality in a very approachable fun way with accurate information.  I LOVE my life and I LOVE people.  If you want a coach who is truly happy, who will never judge you and love you unconditionally, asks deep questions and encouraging you to be more authentic, laughs and cries with you, then I am a perfect coach for you.  Now, are you ready to discover your true beauty, happiness, and sexual fulfillment?  Contact me today to schedule your initial appointment.